Since we are in the midst of November and I am passionate about adoption, I must, once again, make a plea for the orphans of the world. I do this, not because I think you haven't already heard similar pleas, but because I continually hope that somewhere out there is a family reading this, who might be considering adoption, but has not yet committed to it. That's where we were for quite some time. But, as adoption was continually placed before us, in one form or another, we finally reached a point where we could no longer resist the thought of so many of the world's children alone, with no one to love them. Oh, many of them may have caretakers that really care about them, but it's just not the same as the love of a forever family.
As we stood on the brink of a decision, I will admit that it was frightening. There were so many things to be afraid of. What if we can't afford another child? How can we afford the adoption expenses? What if we can't love them the same as biological children? What if they have hidden health issues? What if they have behavioral or attachment issues? How will it affect our current family dynamics? And on and on the questions go. All legitimate questions. But, at least for us, none of them really strong enough arguments to justify turning our backs on these children. It seemed that God had placed a burden on our hearts that was more intense than our fears.
In the event that you are wrestling with some similar fears, let me offer the perspective of an adoptive Dad. The fears are real. But who doesn't have similar fears over a pregnancy? I have three biological sons, and I was apprehensive with each of their arrivals. I had similar fears over the cost of children, the health and safe delivery of children, the effect of the addition on the current family. But, biological or adopted, now that they are here, I can't imagine life without any of them.
As to adoption expenses, let me say this: everyone thinks adoption is expensive. I do not agree. Rather, bureaucracy is expensive! There are many creative ways to fund adoption expenses, from grants to fundraisers, there are many options to explore. There's also good old fashioned belt-tightening saving for something that really matters to you. If it matters enough, you'll find a way.
Sometimes, even the pictures and profiles of available children can make prospective parents fearful. In most of our daughter's referral photos, she had a fearful, hollow, almost pathetic, look in her eyes. But, so many of these kids have experienced a lifetime of loss in just a few short years. Many times, they look fearful and hollow because they are fearful and hollow. All that hollowness, though, can be like a sponge, just waiting to soak up the love and trust of a family. When they get filled up, there is so much life and personality that can flow out of these children.
I would be remiss to insinuate that all adoptions are "happy ever after" stories. Many, many are; but some are are not. There are times when love can't heal all wounds. But, I remind you that this is the case with biological children, as well. Parenting involves risk. Period.
Adoption isn't for everyone, but, are you reading this as one who is considering adoption? What is stopping you? Is it the fear? Is it the expense? Is it just the difficulty involved with getting through all the hoops? They are all valid. But I can tell you that absolutely none of those fears and difficulties mattered on June 30, 2008, when I knelt in an office building in Guangzhou, China, and first held a frightened little Chinese girl named Longxiao. I knew I was meant to be her Daddy and nothing else mattered.
I will leave you with a staggering statement that I recently found, by Steven Curtis Chapman. Here is the quote as it appeared in a CNN news article:
"If only 7 percent of the 2 billion Christians in the world would care for a single orphan in distress, there would effectively be no more orphans. If everybody would be willing to simply do something to care for one of these precious treasures, I think we would be amazed by just how much we could change the world."
Just seven percent of Christians could eliminate the world's orphans? Seven percent! Wow, we can make a difference! The full article appears at the link in the text above. Here are a few other links, if you're interested:
And, a video finale... Kleenex may be required!
love this post. would love to link to it. I too wish more people would consider adoption.... It is not an easy journey, but definately worth all the work!
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