three years ago

Happy Family Day, Lily!

Three years ago, today, I stood in the Civil Affairs office in Guangzhou, China, with two other American families from A Helping Hand Adoption Agency, and several other families I did not know, from various countries... nervously awaiting the moment my name would be called to meet Xiao Xiao, my then-three-year-old daughter, for the first time.

Although probably for different reasons, we both cried.  It was a day I hope I never forget!

June 30, 2008

June 2011

Dear Lily,

You are an amazing little girl with a smile that melts hearts.  I admire your determination and your ability to do anything you set your mind to.  You are very brave, and you face challenges with a great attitude.

The journey of adoption that brought us together was, and continues to be, an amazing adventure.  I love you very much and I am glad God placed you in our family and allowed me to be your Daddy. 

This is a day that holds very special memories for me.  Happy Family Day, Lily Xiao Xiao!  You're my favorite Lily in the whole world!

Love,  Daddy

Dylan is eleven!

Eleven years ago, today, my world changed forever.  I became a first-time Dad! 

Dylan doesn't like it when we say this, but he was a very pretty baby, with doll-baby lips.  Maybe we were just biased... everyone thinks their babies are beautiful.  See for yourself:

Dylan 6/00

We don't call him "pretty" anymore, but he's a handsome fella.  Each kid is different, and I love all mine, but today is Dylan's day, so let me brag on him a little.

Dylan is brilliant.  Really.  He loves to read, and reads well above his grade level.  And, not just fluffy fiction.  He loves good fiction, but it's not uncommon to find him reading a book about how something works, or a reference book on marine life, or whatever else catches his attention.  We live just 3 blocks from our town library, and kids are allowed in without a parent at age 10.  He recently purchased a bike lock so he can ride to the library and browse without worrying about his bike... if you earned frequent flier miles for trips to the library, he'd have some stored up!

He does very well in school.  In fact, this past year, he scored above the 95th percentile in all four areas of the Iowa Test for his grade level, earned straight A's the entire school year, and is excited about moving into advanced placement classes for the upcoming school year.  He gets teased and takes some heat from some of his less-achieving classmates, but he recently told me, "Dad, I'm lucky to be smart... I'd rather be smart than popular".  It's a shame he feels he has to choose one or the other, but I'm glad he lets it roll off his back and does his best.  He just completed his first year of middle school band (percussion/bells) and is looking forward to moving into the snare drum in 6th grade.

As Dylan grows and matures, he seems to be a good judge of character.  His closest friends, Tim and Jess (twin brothers), hang out at my house quite often, and they are good boys.  He had a few friends in earlier grades that I wasn't too crazy about, but over the past few years, he has naturally gravitated away from them and closer to ones that I favor.  He's a solid kid and tends to make solid decisions.

He's a good big brother to each of his siblings, and is very helpful with giving Jen a hand with Benjamin.  Though they are at opposite ends of the sibling group, and there is just over eight years between he and Benjamin, these two have always had a special bond, and Dylan is very patient with the little guy.

Dylan's first love is fishing.  Jen's Dad first introduced him to fishing.  Even if they aren't biting, Dylan is happy on a lake with a rod in his hand and a line in the water.  I've been avoiding it because I've never had any interest in it, but Dylan is one of my four favorite hobbies (the other three being Zachary, Lily, and Benjamin), so it looks like fishing needs to be added to my activity list.

At this point in his life, Dylan plans to attend college to become a mechanical engineer/inventor or a marine biologist, never get married, and travel with a small pickup and fishing boat.  With his intelligence, the career path would be no problem; I'm quite sure he'll own the boat; and, I've seen his sense of fashion... the never marry goal shouldn't be a problem, either!

Dylan isn't a big cake-eater, so, again this year, we took the family to the buffet at Ponderosa last evening for Dylan's birthday... kids eat free on Tuesday evenings!  All-you-can-eat fried chicken, Tabasco sauce, and sundae bar... Dylan was a happy guy!

Dylan 6/11

I didn't make them pose for this one... I just grabbed the camera before it disappeared!

Benny was having a rough evening... he loves crackers, so guess how we kept him happy?

Happy birthday, Dylan!  I'm lucky to be your Dad, and... you're my favorite Dylan in the whole world!

a day on the lake

I had a real weekend this past week... Saturday AND Sunday off!  That hasn't happened too many times in the past year.  I originally requested it because Jen, in a moment of insanity, planned to go camping Friday through Sunday with her parents, who were camped on a waterfront site at a local state park.  Remembering the effort of packing for a family of six and camping with Benny (at the same park) this time last year, her better judgement returned, and she decided to just make it a day trip on Saturday.

Lily took her bike, which she recently learned to ride without training wheels, and Grandpa helped her with some fishing.  Zachary took his bike and his fishing gear.  Dylan took his fishing gear and a favorite book.  The four adults took turns keeping Benny out of the water... and the road... and the neighbor's campsites... you get the picture!

The state park had canoe, kayak, and pedal boat rentals... hourly or daily.  The boys had asked me to rent a pedal boat on other occasions, and (being the cheapskate that I am) I had never rented one.  At Jen's suggestion, I went to the concession to price the rentals... $10 per hour or $40 per day.  I asked if I could exchange boats throughout the day if I paid for the daily rental, and they agreed, so (at the suggestion of my wife) I splurged and paid for the daily rental.  The boy's excitement was priceless... sometimes it's the simple things.

I have wanted a kayak for a while, but I have other priorities.  Do you see a theme here... (being the cheapskate that I am)?  I had never actually used a kayak, so I started out the day with a single person.  It wasn't exactly the style of kayak that I want, but it was good enough to get the idea. 

I paddled around for a while, then let the kids try it out.  I hooked a rope to it at first (training wheels for a kayak), making sure they would be able to maneuver it a little way from the shore and back to me, before turning them loose to go a little further into the inlet.  Dylan and Zachary passed the test and I let them paddle independently (but close to the campsite).

Jen tried it out, and liked it... which is a plus if I ever actually decide to purchase a kayak, or two.  Of course, I would need to sell my canoe first, and apply that to the purchase of a kayak.

I asked Lily if she wanted to try.  Of course, she, who never backs down from a challenge, enthusiastically said yes.  I didn't let her off the rope, but she handled it pretty impressively for her size.

Jen's parents

Dylan's perfect day... fishing and reading.

After we had our fun with the kayak, I exchanged it for a five person pedal boat.  The boys were so excited.  I'm not sure how many miles they pedaled on the lake that day, but they were in that boat almost the whole day.  I'd say they got my money's worth.

We cruised the lake

The Farmer's Insurance blimp flew over the lake

They used it as their bass boat

more fishing

more cruising

The boys taking the ladies for an evening cruise

The two skippers loving "their" boat

Lily caught several fish with Grandpa's help.  I think she might be "hooked" on fishing.  Sunday afternoon she was telling me, "Daddy, I need a tackle box... and a jar to put worms in."  She can be a girlie girl, but she's not afraid to keep up with a house full of boys!  I guess I need to be learning how to fish.

Father's Day 2011

Today is the day America designates to honor the role of fatherhood.  As a man, I am the generation that currently occupies the "sweet spot", in that I can celebrate fatherhood with generations in both directions.

This morning, as I took my family to church, I reflected upon the importance of my role as a father, and just how fortunate I am to be trusted with fathering these four young lives.  This afternoon, my immediate family of twelve people, spanning three generations and three households, gathered at a mutually convenient state park for a Father's Day picnic.  It was a good day to be both a father and a son.

A father, his sons, his grandsons and granddaughters

My Dad

Cousins

Ornery

Dylan is happiest with a line in the water

Cousins

"Awwwww, pup-peeee"

Benny was drawn to this adorable puppy at the neighboring picnic group.  Makes me want to get the boy a puppy... but, with 4 kids, who needs another living thing to care for?

My brother brought his canoe

Lily's first ever canoe ride

Dylan got promoted from kids seats in the center, to front seat with a paddle!

Daughters-In-Law

Benny Jay

walk in the park

Marriage experts advocate continuing to date your spouse after marriage and children.  This is easier said than done... especially with four kids between the ages of two and ten!  Although it's difficult, I am recently realizing just how important it is, and how lax I have been in continuing to cultivate my relationship with my wife.

Yesterday, I had Jen arrange to have her Mom come over, after church, to stay with the kids for the afternoon.  I made sure the kids were fed, and put together a simple picnic lunch for the two of us.  I took Jen to the gardens at a local metro park, where I think I had only taken her once before, when we were dating.  It was nothing fancy, and we had no agenda, but we enjoyed the afternoon strolling the rose gardens and doing some streamside hiking... and Jen even found her first geocache. 

The afternoon went way too fast, but it was the kind of days we used to have when our life was much simpler.  It is sometimes hard to appreciate each other in the throes of daily stress and chaos that has characterized our life for the past years, but yesterday reminded me of one simple thing... I really enjoy my wife's company!

It had been so long since I had actually put time and effort into planning a "date" with my wife (instead of the typical "what do you want to do?", "I don't know, what do you want to do?"), that it felt a little like a first date all over again.  (In fact, I'm hoping she'll go out with me again!)

I'm a protective Dad, and I'm not about to just dump my kids off at any opportunity, with just anyone who will keep them... I have way too much invested in them for that style of parenting.  But, at the same time, I need to put more investment into my marriage.  I need to arrange more opportunities, like yesterday, to slip away and just be a couple.. even if it is just a simple afternoon walk in the park.  Thanks, Jen, for a great afternoon!

I have often considered myself to have an eye for photography... at least I used to think so.  Anymore, it seems my mind is so cluttered with other things, that I don't slow down enough to notice as much as I used to.  The opposite has happened with Jen, however.  She never used to have an interest in photography, but since getting our digital camera, she has developed that interest, and most of our nicest recent pictures have been a result of her sharp eye.  She could probably have spent several more hours walking these gardens looking for photographic opportunities, but (except for the obvious few I took with her in them) here are a few of her pics:

sunny Sunday

Yesterday was a beautiful Sunday afternoon, and we met Jen's parents at a state park near their home for some walking, talking, playing, fishing, and geocaching.