writer's rewards

Blogging was foreign to me until I started exploring the possibility of adoption.  It was then that I started reading blogs of adoptive families, in various stages of the adoption process.  Since Jen was unable to join me in traveling to China to bring home our daughter, I started my first blog, "to China, for Lily", to chronicle the trip for her, the boys and other family members and friends.

In school, I gravitated toward Arts and English rather than Math and Science, so it was no surprise that I found blogging enjoyable... especially when my blog link spread throughout the adoptive community, causing strangers from various states and countries to read and comment on my travel posts.  Maybe my ego has needs, but I found it rewarding to have various people interested enough in what I wrote to bother reading it.  But, not just reading it... some actually commented on what I wrote, which feels a little like payday for a blogger.  (Some readers may not understand this, but most bloggers or aspiring writers can relate!)

After being home from China a few weeks, I decided to preserve "to China, for Lily" and replace it with "Backside of Forty" to include the rest of my growing family, and other topics I might find worth writing about... a memior, of sorts, about my life roles and accomplishments, struggles and (when I'm feeling vulnerable) failures.  Generally, it's what makes me tick.

In addition to the thrill of knowing a few people read what I write, I have three main motivations for my current blog:

1. I hope my kids will someday appreciate what made Dad tick.
2. Life moves fast.  If I don't journal some of it, I'll forget some of it.
3. Writing is therapeutic.  I sometimes write to process thoughts.

Recently, I had a glimpse of goal number one.  All blog stats and comments aside, my 10 year-old son (who loves to read), for the first time and on a few different occassions, just sat down and read my blog... not just a recent post or two, but deep back through the archives.  I received comments (audible, not in the comment section) from him, like:  I forgot about that; That was a fun time; I like reading your blog, Dad; and (my favorite), laughter.

That was one of the best writer's rewards!

pudgee smudgees

I wear glasses.  Everyday.  All day.  For the past 30-plus years. 

I can (and do) tolerate some dust and dirt on my lenses.  But, finger smudges are another story.  They are intolerable... until lately.

I've been battling finger smudges on my lenses, recently, a bit more than normal.  And, no, I'm not just suddenly getting careless in the handling of my glasses!  Why, then?

Since Benny is developmentally delayed (I say that hesitantly, not wanting to insult or embarrass him), we are proud of him and praise him for things that parents of other children his age may just take for granted.  He is making progress in his speech and motor skills, and enjoying going to preschool two days per week at our county MRDD school.  It has been good for his development and he does well with the structure.  The hope is still that he will catch up with his peers, but for now, all strides in development are encouraged and celebrated.

In this case, at 27 months, one of the recent new Benny activities is for him to point out and name both his and our "nose, eye and mmmm [mouth]".  He does this often, then claps and says, "Yay!" (Because we clap and say, "Yay!")  Of course, his goal is to actually touch (not just point to) the nose, eyes and mouth with his pudgee little finger!

Well... I think you see why this Dad often sports pudgee smudgees on his eyeglass lenses!  But, they're only little for such a short time... I'll deal with a few smudges!

Love you, Benny J.  You're my favorite Benny in the whole world!

Of course, everyone knows Lego tubs are for sitting in!

Daddy's footsteps?

automotive history

Despite the fact that I am currently attempting to provide for my family as an "automotive sales consultant", I personally hate buying and/or selling cars.  It is one of the necessary evils of life, as evidenced by the fact that I am 42 years old, and still driving two of the five total vehicles purchased during my adult lifetime.

This post was inspired, in two ways, by a blogger/facebook friend, the Father of Five.  First, he recently posted a picture of his first car on facebook.  Second, during slow times at work (of which there have lately been ample), I have been skimming some of his archived blog posts and saw a post featuring his history of automobile ownership. 

I think it's a guy thing, but we like recounting our driving/ownership history.  That said, here are the rides with which I have been associated (those in red represent my actual purchases):

1.     1976 AMC Hornet Sportabout.  (stock photo)  My parents owned this car.  It was a red station wagon, with wood grain sides, a straight 6 engine and an automatic transmission.  I learned to drive and passed my test (the first attempt) in this car, and drove it a few years until I proudly purchased the '81 Rabbit. 

2.     1981 VW Rabbit.  I purchased my first car, sight unseen, from my Great Uncle Bill and Aunt Bernie. Although I had previously seen it over the years, it was in Florida when the purchase was agreed upon. It had a 4-cylinder diesel engine and a 4-speed manual transmission; and, although I'm not proud of it, my friend could beat me off the line at a traffic light in her... Yugo (he says with head hung low in shame)!  I added fog lamps, raised white-letter tires, an AM/FM/cassette stereo, a CB radio, chrome splash guards and exhaust tip, and beamed with pride at my first ride.  I did not know how to drive stick when I purchased the car, but we went to Florida over Christmas break, and I drove it back home to Ohio... pretty well mastering stick-shift driving in the process.  I drove it until there was little to no life in it, and (sadly) sold it for scrap.

3.     1986 VW Golf.  Replacing the '81 Rabbit, this vehicle was another 4-cylinder diesel with a 5-speed stick... a little more gutsy than the 4-speed Rabbit, but not much.  I owned this car when I dated and married my wife, and we drove it to Gatlinburg, Tennessee on our honeymoon.  Although it still ran great, my wife "strongly suggested" I get something "safer and more reliable" when we started having children.  I conceded.

4.     1988 Ford Escort.  Jen bought this car shortly after we started dating.  It had a 5-speed stick and I helped teach her the basics of stick-shift driving.  She owned it when we got married, but we were neither extremely fond of it, so shortly thereafter I sold it and bought a '95 Saturn.

5.     1995 Saturn SL.  This car replaced the '88 Escort.  With a 5-speed stick, this was perhaps my favorite car, to date.  Simple.  Reliable.  Comfortable.  Economical.  That's my kind of car.  The first two summers we were married, we took this car to Acadia National Park, in Maine.  I would probably still be driving it, but our family size necessitated a van, and it was the logical one to sell, due to higher mileage.  I sold it to two brothers to drive to college, and I still occasionally see it running around town.

6.     2001 Chevrolet Lumina.  This highly practical V6 automatic car replaced the '86 Golf, and it is presently my primary ride (minus the cargo "attic").

7.     2005 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT.  This V6 automatic van replaced the '95 Saturn, and it is presently Jen's primary ride.  (And, for the record, I'm a guy who has no image problems driving a minivan.  It's the most practical and utilitarian vehicle I have owned, to date, and I'm all about practical.  What's more, I'm proud to be a father of four, tooling around with a van full of kids!)

wordless wednesday

deck the hallway

The kids are anxious to put up the Christmas decorations.  Me... not so much. 

So, Dylan, Zachary and Lily decided to do their own decorating.  Dylan made this Christmas tree out of K'NEX and construction paper.  They added tissue paper snow and the boy's Geo Trax train.  Lily contributed one of her teddy bears, a shoe box "gift" wrapped in red construction paper, and a plate of plastic cookies and milk for Santa from her kitchen set.

The exhibit can be found on display, for the rest of the year, decking the (yet to be finished) hallway between their bedroom doors.  Oh, and although it doesn't show in the picture, the exhibit also includes a K'NEX stand to hold a strategically aimed flashlight, placed on the other side of the hallway, to light the display in the dark.

Don't you love the creativity of kids?

underwear bandits

This would have made a great blog post... but, I just can't do it.

I had their (some of the smaller people in our house, who shall remain nameless for their protection) permission to take the photo.  They thought it was funny and wanted me to post it to the blog.  It involved underwear... and Nerf guns (but the photos were in no way indecent) and it was funny. 

However, I don't think they thought it through very well.  So, good Dad that I am, I did some of the thinking on their behalf. 

You see, I recently picked up a new "follower" on my blog.  She calls herself "Leezard".  (Welcome, Leezard!)  I told them about Leezard following my blog and they had a blank look as they thought about it for a moment.  When Leezard's actual identity clicked with them, they got a slight panicked look on their face... and, they changed their mind very quickly about the "underwear bandits" post! 

"You didn't post that, did you , Dad?" 

No, I didn't post it (you're welcome)... but, I am keeping the picture... and you just never know were the underwear bandits might show up again!

have you considered...

Have you considered... over 130 million children worldwide have lost one or both parents?*

Have you considered... at least 16.2 million children worldwide have lost both parents?*

Have you considered... every 18 seconds another child becomes an orphan, without a mother or father?*

Have you considered... every 14 seconds a child loses a parent due to AIDS?*

Have you considered... it's not their fault?

Have you considered... what you can do?

"I am only one, but still I am one.  I  cannot do everything, but still I can do something;  and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."  --Helen Keller

Lily recently talked to me about being an orphan and I asked her what "orphan" means.  Her reply:  "It mean you not a family.  You all alone."

November is National Adoption Month... have you considered?

(*statistics copied from http://www.showhope.org/Resources/TheNeed.aspx where specific sources are cited.)