what is it?

This picture was recently featured on one of Zachary's first grade worksheets about silent consonants. The instructions were to select whether the featured item started with a "gn" or "wr". Zachary was stumped, so he asked my wife what the picture was. My wife was stumped, so she asked me for help. I said, "well, of course, everyone knows its a... uhh... hmm... its a... well, it looks like a... I don't know". I finally figured it out, with the help of my trusty Webster's dictionary, but, apart from that, I never would have figured it out... and neither would my first grader. I mean, come on, who writes this stuff?

Just curious, do you know the answer (without consulting Webster)? stay tuned! I'll tell you who this character is in a few days. (I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat!)

Happy Anniversary!

Without any fanfare, our eleventh wedding anniversary passed yesterday. I am a very nostalgic kind of guy, so the fact that we didn't do anything to commemorate it bothers me, a little. We just neither one had the energy, nor did we feel like fighting the Saturday evening crowds for a meal out. We usually dust off our wedding video and watch it on our anniversary, but we didn't even do that. It's funny, when we were newlyweds, we dreamed that we might take a cruise to commemorate our tenth anniversary. Last year, to mark our tenth, we, instead, dropped our two boys at a friend's house and went to a Chinese buffet and Wal-Mart. At that dinner, we mostly talked about our kids... the two we already had and a little girl in China who, a few months earlier, had captured our hearts. A year later, all six of us hung out and watched a classic movie together. I, snuggling on the couch with that little girl from China, and Jen snuggling in the chair with a little boy that wasn't even on our radar screen a year ago. Yes, I should date my wife more, but last night, we skipped the fanfare to do one of our favorite things... don an old pair of sweats and spend a cool November evening cozied up with our four favorite kids.

For those who didn't know us then, we were married on a cold, wet, dreary November afternoon. We had a fairly simple and traditional ceremony, with light refreshments and cake following. Nothing really fancy, but that's the way we wanted it. My favorite thing to remember about that day was how breathtakingly beautiful my bride was when she walked down the aisle, on the arm of her father, in the most stunning wedding dress I had and have ever seen. Our biggest splurge was the photographer... we were only planning to do this once and we wanted nice pictures to remember it. We spent our honeymoon in a log cabin in the Smoky Mountains, above Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

In eleven years, we've had our share of highs and lows. I was recently unemployed at the time of our wedding, as I am today. We are both stubborn first-borns, so we've had our share of disputes and disagreements. I probably don't show her or tell her enough, but through the ups and downs, she is my best friend and I love her dearly.

Jen, thank you for being my faithful wife, my best friend, and a great mother to my four beautiful babies. I love you!

THEN

NOW

more pictures

Another pretty outfit. Lily loves joining in the boys adventures, but she also loves being a little lady.

My favorite Lily and my favorite Benny.

Here's a cute one of Ben.

They call themselves "Spy Warriors"! (Swim goggles never go out of season!)

Jen caught Ben and I in snooze mode.

dollars and scents

Yesterday, I needed to make a "man shopping" run. The boys were working on their lessons, so I asked Lily if she'd like to go with me. She thought she was cool to get to go with Daddy while the boys stayed home to do school.

I have never noticed her do this before, but I thought is was amusing. She, without prompt, kept a running commentary of smells! Here's how it went:

• Home Depot garden center (scent: fertilizer), "Xiao Xiao no like." (waving hand in front of squinted nose)
• Harbor Freight Tools (scent: an industrial, metallic, faint rubber smell), "Mmm, Xiao Xiao like." (breathing deeply)
• Wal-Mart (scent: cutting through the candle aisle), "Mmm, Xiao Xiao like" (breathing deeply)
• Outside Wal-Mart walking past the employee smoking area (scent: outdoor cigarette smoke), "Mmm, Xiao Xiao like." (breathing deeply)
• Auto Zone (scent: oily, auto parts smell), "Xiao Xiao no like." (waving hand in front of squinted nose)

I enjoyed spending a few hours with her and her antics made me smile!

Five dollars!

This week, being unemployed, I have been splitting my time between resume writing/job searching and working on our remodeling project. Wednesday afternoon, as I was working on the house, I took a break to chat with my neighbor across the street. He is in his sixties and is recovering from pneumonia. I found this out earlier in the week when I called over to his house to check on them when I noticed the leaves piling up... not like Mr. O. at all! He is independent and hard-working, and often waves off my offers to help him. Mr. O. mentioned in Wednesday's conversation (not as a hint) that he needed to try to get his adult granddaughter over to help with the yard.

After our conversation, Dylan and Zachary (6 & 8) looked like they needed a project to occupy them, so I suggested that maybe they could help Mr. O. out by raking some leaves for him, since he's not feeling well. They got excited and ran to the garage for the rakes... if only they'd get that excited about raking my leaves! Our family thinks a lot of Mr. and Mrs. O., so I'm glad they were eager to help him... and I figured he'd have a harder time telling them he didn't need help! I took them over and got them started, and I could see most of Mr. O.'s yard from where I was working. I checked on them periodically, and they were doing a good job.

I wanted them to do the project to learn about helping others. I did not expect them to be paid, nor did they consider getting paid. We were just trying to help out a neighbor and friend. However, knowing Mr. O., I should have known better. When they finished up, they excitedly came home with five dollars, each! I hope they still learned a lesson and I hope they won't expect to be paid every time they help someone out. I think they got it. But, I had opportunity to reinforce the lesson today.

I cleaned my gutters this afternoon. While I still had my ladder and blower out, I asked Mr. O. if he would mind if I cleaned his gutters, as well. He hesitated, but let me do it. His wife was at work, and as I was finishing up, he had to leave to drive his daughter to an appointment. His yard isn't that big, and I figured I could get the leaves raked before he got back. The boys came over to help me, and as we were raking, Dylan asked me if I thought Mr. O. would pay me. When I said that he already had, Dylan looked surprised. With wide eyes he said, "he did? when?" This, I thought, was a perfect opportunity to finish driving home the lesson that started a few days earlier. I answered, "he's paid me with his friendship, he's paid me when I've needed to borrow a tool, he's paid me when he watches our house and waters our garden when we're on vacation, he's paid me when he moves my empty trash cans off the curb when I'm at work... it's not always about money." It was one of those experiences when you could almost see the light bulb coming on as Dylan said, "yeah, I guess you're right... I didn't think of it that way."

Lily's prayer

It has been a while since I have posted an actual adjustment update about Lily. Actually, to talk about how Lily is adjusting is a misnomer. The first weeks, the focus of adjustment was about her, but by this point, the family is adjusting as a unit to life as it comes to us, or at us, depending on the week. She is just one piece of the larger unit. That is how it should feel, I think.

With Lily, we have our good times, and our not-so-good times... more of the good, though. As a rule, she is cooperative and eager to please; bright and cheery; happy and smiley. But, there is an exception to every rule, and for her it is whiny! Maybe it's just being three, but it can sure be annoying. I don't mean to be disrespectful to her culture, but just being honest... I sometimes call her "Whinese". (Disclaimer: I used this term when Dylan and Zachary were younger, long before we ever crossed paths with the Chinese culture, whose people I have great respect for).

Although she still has a long way to go with the English language, it is improving. The big change that I have noticed in the past week, or so, is that the language has transitioned from being mostly used to communicate needs, to communicating gratitude. She had learned the words, "thank-you", but mostly parroted them when told to do so. However, this seemed to "click" during trick-or-treat.

Every year, I always give my kids a "remember to say thank-you" lecture as we leave the house. And, yet, it seems that at nearly every house, I'm still saying, "what do you say"? But, this year was a little different. At the first few houses, I told Lily, "say thank-you", and she repeated it. But, it only took a few houses. After that, at nearly every house, she said "tang-choo" without prompt. Trick-or-treat was a bit of a "wow" experience for Lily. I don't think she had ever experienced generosity on this magnitude. So many strangers, smiling, and pushing candy in her bucket for doing nothing but looking like a darn cute ladybug, I think was a little overwhelming (in a positive way) for her. She didn't get very excited, but the neat thing was, while my biological kids had to still sometimes be prompted to express gratitude (artificial?), my adopted kid, at least for that evening, got it... hers was from the heart and required little prompting.

I have also been the beneficiary of this Daddy-melting gratitude in the past week, as well. Several times when I have done something for her, she has said, "tang-choo baba/dada-y" (she recently started switching back and forth between calling me baba or dada-y) . She will sometimes initiate a kiss and say, "Xiao Xiao love baba/dada-y". She doesn't have the concept of "I" yet, so sometimes she drops the "Xiao Xiao" and just says, "love baba/dada-y". Its at moments like those, I forget all about the "Whinese" and love being that little girl's dada-y!

Finally, one more neat Lily story: Just this week, she started praying. It's so cute! I'm pretty sure she doesn't have much understanding of what she's doing, but she has learned that it is something we often do and that is has some importance, so she wants to participate. Her prayers are partly English, partly Chinese, and partly nonsense. They go something like this:

"mmm baba. mmm mama. mmm Xiao Xiao. mmm gugu (brother). mmm gugu. mmm baby. mmm gampa. mmm gamma. mmm baba. mmm mama. mmm 'MEN!"

Lily Xiao Xiao, I love you, and my prayer for you is that you will someday come to know our Heavenly "Dada-y".

on voting...

I have often heard it said that the two things you shouldn't discuss are religion and politics. The great thing about a blog, though, is that you can discuss both, and be much less offensive... I think. After all, you can choose whether or not to read the author's opinion. That being said, here are my thoughts on Election '08:

While I am proud to be an American, and I think that we are very blessed to be able to vote in our country's political system, I really dislike politics. I ignore the commercials and I pay little attention to the debates (with the exception of the Saddleback Forum and the SNL spoofs). I get so tired of all the negativity and dirt. Sadly, political races often come down to backing the lesser of the evils... even more so this year.

So, who is the lesser? Speaking as a Christian, I know there are believers supporting both parties. It's not for me to say who's right, but this is simply a view through my lens... if you're interested. It seems to me that there are three main subjects that encompass most of the political rhetoric: economics, defense, and morality. While I care deeply about all three of these areas, I don't think one single candidate has all the right answers for all three areas. I can agree with parts of the economics of both candidates, I have mixed feelings about the "War in Iraq", and, with both candidates claiming to be Christians, I can find good in the moral platforms of both candidates. Unfortunately, the Presidential race is an entree, not a la carte.

Ultimately, I know that God is sovereign, no matter who sits in the Oval Office. He can accomplish His will through good and bad leaders. The Bible is witness to that. Still, I think as a Christian, I should be a good steward of the privilege to vote, and should try to elect candidates that are more likely to align our country with a Godly world view. Obviously, God's ways are higher than our ways, but he does give us the Bible as a guide. If I try to filter the election through a Christian world view, what does that look like to me?

I am sure God cares about economics, but I doubt that He takes much stock in "the American dream". The Bible and politics both have much to say about economics. However, the Bible's approach is from the perspective of stewardship, and politics from the perspective of lifestyle. Huge difference! So, while economics is very important (I am currently unemployed), I don't think I can make it the primary factor.

Defense is a tough one. I don't feel as though I am knowledgeable enough to give a great opinion on this topic. The Bible addresses both war and peace, but I'm not sure I can find a lot of clear cut answers to the current War in Iraq. Although defense is very important, for me, it can't be the hot button of candidate decision.

That leaves morality. And, yes, I'll admit up front, this is where the crux of my decision is made. Both parties are different, but equally passionate about issues of morality. While not always politically correct by today's standards, the Bible is also passionate about moral issues. You are free to disagree, but let me drill down a little deeper into morality.

One candidate is appealing because of a tendency toward conservative opinions on the sanctity of human life and traditional marriage. Another candidate, although holding more liberal views on life and marriage, expresses appealing views on "loving your neighbor as yourself" and taking care of "the least of these". I believe the Bible supports both of these moral views. Hence, we find Christians in support of both candidates. However, I must ask the question, "is it the Government's job to take care of the least of these?" I, rather, think it is the assignment of you, I, and the Church.

I am concerned about the United States that my children and grandchildren will inherit from my generation. I would like them to inherit a country that enjoys peace with the world and a prosperous economy. But it is much more important to me that they inherit a country that recognizes and respects the authority and standards of God. Regardless of who spends the next four years in Washington, I fear that our country is turning it's back on God, and if so, I wouldn't count on much peace or prosperity. Neither candidate will be the savior of America, but I must vote for the candidate that I feel most closely supports the values that I have derived from Christianity. So, in this year's Presidential election, I will be voting for...

...well, I'll not be specific, but I think you can figure it out.