tune-up

A lot of advertisements have fast-talking disclaimers at the end.  Occasionally, my blog posts have disclaimers, as well, but I often prefer to put the disclaimer up front (or even throughout).  I do this because I sometimes write about a topic that resonates with me, but it it resonates not from the perspective of, "I've really hit the bulls-eye!", but rather, "I really am the bulls-eye!".  This is one such post.

That said, I am not trying to sound super spiritual or holier-than-thou.  I (as well as my entire family) have fought a lot of struggles, discouragement and depression in the past few years, related to multiple areas of life.  Such hardships can either strengthen or weaken a person's faith and relationship with God.  For me, unfortunately, I chose to react in such a way that has put distance between me and my God.  As unique individuals, it has effected the members of my family in differing ways, but I think we have all felt some form of spiritual distancing.

I can't/won't speak for the other members of my family, but in the past few months, I feel as though I have turned a corner.  I am starting to face some of the excuses that I used to justify the spiritual apathy, and beginning to work my way out of my spiritual slump.  Mind you, I have quite a bit of work to do, but I am beginning...

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We enjoyed a quiet New Year's Eve at home to commemorate this year's changing of the calendar... there was some whining about "boring" (I won't mention names), but, after the busyness of Christmas, I personally found it a little refreshing to just enjoy a quiet evening at home with the family.  I, having a reputation of not liking games (I'm really working on that), actually tried a few times throughout the evening to drum up a family game at the new table in the well-lit and cozy new kitchen, but could get no takers.  Party poopers!

As it turned out, I am glad that New Year's Day fell on a Sunday this year.  We debated taking the day off from church, since it was a holiday and we let the kids (all except Benny) stay up past midnight on Saturday.  But, I decided, since we went to bed shortly after midnight and we'd still get a decent night's sleep, that I was going to start the new year in church, even if I went alone.  This would be where that not-sounding-super-spiritual disclaimer comes in... I didn't make the decision because I am Super-Christian, nor did I feel guilted into being there (like I sometimes have felt in the past).  No, I made the decision simply because I genuinely wanted to go... and that was a refreshing feeling!

Of course, I also made the decision that at least the three older kids were going to get up and go with me (without any complaining... if they wanted to stay up late on Saturday!), because I'm the Dad and I can "help" them make those decisions!  In the end, we all six got up and spent the first morning of the new year in church.

And, I'm really glad I did!  Pastor Steve delivered a fairly simple and straightforward sermon from Psalm 101, as a challenge for a new year.

Psalm 101 (NIV, 1984)
¹ I will sing of your love and justice;
to you, O LORD, I will sing praise.
² I will be careful to lead a blameless life—
when will you come to me?
I will walk in my house
with blameless heart.
³ I will set before my eyes
no vile thing.
The deeds of faithless men I hate;
they will not cling to me.
⁴ Men of perverse heart shall be far from me;
I will have nothing to do with evil.
⁵ Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret,
him will I put to silence;
whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart,
him will I not endure.
⁶ My eyes will be on the faithful in the land,
that they may dwell with me;
he whose walk is blameless
will minister to me.
⁷ No one who practices deceit
will dwell in my house;
no one who speaks falsely
will stand in my presence.
⁸ Every morning I will put to silence
all the wicked in the land;
I will cut off every evildoer
from the city of the LORD.

He hit my bulls-eye that morning.  I started the year with a sense of both encouragement and challenge.  He challenged me in a number of areas, but the idea of  "blameless" was the focus.  It wasn't a typical New Year's resolution-type message, but he used the scripture passage to present more of a life "tune-up" for the new year.

Three areas stood out to me:

1. Verse 2:  Will I walk in my house with a blameless heart?  He made a statement to the effect that (speaking generally to parents) it is your individual responsibility to lead your family in a spiritually healthy direction, even if your home is less than perfect, or even if your spouse does not.  Wow, my life and my home is far from perfect... far from "blameless", but I need to make a greater effort to help my family see the importance of spiritual foundations, even in the midst especially in the midst of a period of "storm damage". 
2. Verse 3:  What influences (positive or negative) am I allowing into my life and my home?  He challenged me to be a guardian of what I allow into my life and my home, largely through various forms of media... TV, movies, video games, internet, music, books, etc.  A big challenge and big responsibility!  As my kids get older, it is getting much more difficult to stay on top of what they are taking in.  I also need to be aware of the message that what they see and hear me "ingesting" sends to them.  This is not an area to practice legalism (which I think often happens) , but healthy balance and caution.
3. Verses 4-7:  What people will I let influence me and my family?  As an introvert, I am a man of few close friends, but I feel that I have done a pretty good job of picking my friends over the years.  I recently wrote about this in the post "kindergarten to cosmic".  Still, it's a good reminder that the best way to help my family learn to choose friendships with those who will be a positive influence in their life is for them to see me choosing "solid" friends... friends that could hang with me and my family, without worrying that they may have a negative influence!

Yeah, I've been running a little rough... I could sure use some spiritual "tuning up".  How about you?

do you really mean that?

I sell cars.  I meet people. 

I met a dad, today, that made me sad for his daughter. 

I didn't really have what they were looking for, so my time with them was brief.  The dad was helping his 18, or so, year-old daughter look for a used Jeep.  He told me he had a decent used Jeep that he wanted to give her, but it "wasn't good enough for her".  She proceeded to rapid-fire questions at me such as, "How much is that one?  How many miles on this one?", all the while insulting every used Jeep I had on the lot, for one reason or another.  To put it kindly, her personality was NOT very likable.

But, as they were leaving and the daughter was comfortably out of ear-shot, the dad turned to me and said, "Kids.  I wish I would've never had 'em.  I've got two kids and two dogs.  I wish I had four dogs."

I was speechless.

He walked toward his truck and left.

Wow.

I spent about ten minutes with the guy and he leaves me with that?  Where did that come from?  Do you really mean that?

I have no idea what life factors caused him to feel that way, and even though I didn't really like the daughter, I was very saddened by his comment.

Hey, Anonymous Dad on the Car Lot:  Your daughter deserves better than that!

the mouth of babes...

Dylan has been doing very well since he transitioned back to public school, following Christmas break. The biggest difficulty, though, is with his art teacher. He has art every Wednesday, and he goes to bed on Monday and Tuesday with a building sense of dread. He hasn't exactly had a problem with this teacher, he is just afraid of her. He says she's REALLY mean and impatient.

Last week, leading up to Wednesday, he prayed for a good art class and asked Jen and I to pray specifically for that. When Wednesday came, he had a good day because his teacher "was in a good mood". Again this week, he is following the same pattern, but he shared with me this evening that he feels the Lord has brought this into his life as a test. He felt that it was a test to see if he would trust God to help him in this situation. He told me that the Lord answered his prayer because his teacher was nice last week.

While I was really excited (and maybe a little surprised) about his mature perspective, I felt the need to redirect him slightly. I didn't want him to think that every time he prays, the trouble will be removed. Trying not to burst his bubble, I gently reminded him that God always answers our prayer, but he doesn't always answer it in the way that is the easiest, or most desirable. I told him that sometimes he might pray for art class and still have a rough day. He got it, and questioningly finished the thought for me... God might instead give him the strength to go through a difficult day?

Although I, the Dad, gently redirected my 8 year old son, he didn't realize that I learned the bigger lesson from the conversation. Although I have prayed about the difficulty of my unemployment, I'm not sure I view the trial through as mature eyes as my son viewed his trial. Oh, intellectually, I know all this, but, being the adult that I am, I tend to pray and then go try to make things happen in my own strength. My son, instead, prayed and then actually trusted the God of his prayers to help him "pass the test". Thank you Dylan, for reinforcing this powerful lesson.

As he asked me tonight at bedtime to pray for art class tomorrow, and asked me to also pray for him while he was at school tomorrow, the second lesson that was reinforced was the importance of diligently uplifting my kids in prayer. Oh, I pray for them, but not always as diligent as I should. I promised him that I would pray for him while he is at school, but I also made a mental note to take this particular aspect of fatherhood much more seriously. He's counting on me to be in his corner, and I want him to be able to confidently know that I've got his back and I'm supporting him with prayer.