feet and feast

It's Holy Week... do you know what happened today in the life of Jesus? 

Sadly, many Christians don't focus much on Holy Week... and I've traditionally been one of them.  For many of us, Easter is about Sunday, and the days leading up to it are about preparation, shopping, cooking, travel or just an extra day off work.  But, there is a reason why tomorrow is a national holiday... and it's not just because the "actual" holiday falls on a Sunday.  No, it's because the celebration of Easter is an event, not just a day!

Thursday, being Christ's final full day on earth, marked these important events:

• Jesus joined the twelve disciples for a Passover meal (often referred to as "The Last Supper"), during which He instituted the observance of what is now known as Communion.  Luke 22:14-19
• Jesus took on Himself the role of a slave, and washed the feet of the twelve, then commanded them to follow his example to serve others.  John 13:4-17
• Jesus predicted his betrayal during the Passover meal.  John 13:21-30
• Jesus prayed, was betrayed by Judas and was arrested, in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Luke 22:39-53

In some Christian traditions, today is marked by Maundy Thursday or Holy Thursday observances, often involving foot washing and/or Communion.  "Maundy" is a bit of a foreign word for me, but it is from the Latin word mandatum, which means mandate or commandment, the significance of which comes from the commandment of Jesus to go and serve others, as he modeled in the washing of the disciple's feet.

But, I think perhaps the washing of the feet was more significant than just modeling humility and service.  Perhaps the real significance was in the symbolism of the cleansing.  Just as the elements of the first Communion were symbols... the broken bread representing the suffering He would endure in His body as it would be broken, and the cup representing His blood that would be shed as the end-all payment for sin... I see the cleansing of the disciple's feet as symbolic of the cleansing from sin that was about to be made possible by His impending death.  The commandment, then, was bigger than just acts of service and kindness, or to "serve others as I have served you", but to model the example of Christ in a way that points others to Him and the true cleansing His death offers.  That's a big calling for the twelve... and for me?

Easter... it's not just about Sunday!

he said what?

I heard a word in church this past Sunday that I don't believe I have ever heard in church before!  What's more, it was spoken by my Pastor... from the pulpit, no less!

And, the word was...

Lent.

Some of you may be scratching your head about now... wondering why this is such a big deal.  Well... it's just that I grew up with a Baptist background.  I have always attended Baptist (or Baptist-similar) churches, and, from my experience, Baptists don't do Lent.

Now, if you regularly partake in the Lenten season, please forgive my possible ignorance in this post... I'm no expert on the subject (see above).  But, I have to give props to my Pastor for bringing a "foreign" concept to the pulpit of our church.  It caught my attention, and I've given it quite a bit of thought over the past few days.

I think that there are two main approaches to religion, and, even more specifically, to Christianity... performance and grace.  Performance based is the mindset akin to "impressing" God.  Grace based is the realization that there is nothing we, as mere mortals, can possibly do to impress God.  I subscribe to grace based Christianity.  I believe that there is nothing we can do to earn our way to God.  All I can do is accept the grace he freely offered when He gave His son, Jesus Christ, to die for the sins of mankind.  Therefore, any "good works" are performed out of gratitude for what has already been done on my behalf.

That said, I still often find myself falling into the trap of performance based Christianity... doing things because I think I should.  But, herein lies the beauty of Lent for a Baptist, like me... since we don't normally do Lent, there are absolutely no preconceived ideas or expectations.  Elements of our regular worship practices can become habitual, almost ritual.  But, stepping a little out of our norm once in a while can allow us to get a fresh perspective.

This was the point my Pastor was making.  His entire sermon was not about Lent.  It was actually from the 11th chapter of Mark's Gospel, where Jesus is found cleansing the Temple. 

(15) On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple courts and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, (16) and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. (17) And as he taught them, he said, “Is it not written: ‘My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations’? But you have made it ‘a den of robbers.’” (NIV)

The point being made was that the Temple area and the "worship" that occurred there had become something it was never intended.  In many ways, the genuineness had been lost and perspective and right motives needed restored.  The same thing can happen with individuals.  Hence, Pastor suggested changing our normal "routine" once in a while to gain a fresh perspective... perhaps Lenten participation as one possible way to prepare the heart for the upcoming Easter holiday.

Ah, Easter.

I have addressed my frustrations with the Easter holiday in a previous post.  It ties in very well with this post, if you have the time to read it.  If not, the crux is this:

"I think a big part of my Easter frustration is due to the fact that my church background has focused so much more heavily on the Resurrection and tended to gloss over the Crucifixion. And why not? Resurrection is happy... crucifixion is not. But, how can you fully rejoice in the Resurrection, without first sharing in the sorrow of the cross?"

I believe Resurrection Sunday is the holiest of days for the Christian.  And yet, I think many of us do it a great disservice by not preparing our hearts through the events leading up to the Resurrection, or by doing it in such a routine way that the significance and genuineness have been lost.

Technically speaking, Lent has already begun.  I mean no disrespect to those of you who adhere to a more strict practice of Lent, but since it is not a regular part of my faith practices, I don't feel the need to adhere to as strict of an iterpretation of the observance as others might.  But, I am considering it... perhaps a "modified" version this year... or observing it another year... or, maybe not at all.

He said what?

Lent?

Yeah... and the cool thing is... he made me think a little out of the box.

tune-up

A lot of advertisements have fast-talking disclaimers at the end.  Occasionally, my blog posts have disclaimers, as well, but I often prefer to put the disclaimer up front (or even throughout).  I do this because I sometimes write about a topic that resonates with me, but it it resonates not from the perspective of, "I've really hit the bulls-eye!", but rather, "I really am the bulls-eye!".  This is one such post.

That said, I am not trying to sound super spiritual or holier-than-thou.  I (as well as my entire family) have fought a lot of struggles, discouragement and depression in the past few years, related to multiple areas of life.  Such hardships can either strengthen or weaken a person's faith and relationship with God.  For me, unfortunately, I chose to react in such a way that has put distance between me and my God.  As unique individuals, it has effected the members of my family in differing ways, but I think we have all felt some form of spiritual distancing.

I can't/won't speak for the other members of my family, but in the past few months, I feel as though I have turned a corner.  I am starting to face some of the excuses that I used to justify the spiritual apathy, and beginning to work my way out of my spiritual slump.  Mind you, I have quite a bit of work to do, but I am beginning...

---

We enjoyed a quiet New Year's Eve at home to commemorate this year's changing of the calendar... there was some whining about "boring" (I won't mention names), but, after the busyness of Christmas, I personally found it a little refreshing to just enjoy a quiet evening at home with the family.  I, having a reputation of not liking games (I'm really working on that), actually tried a few times throughout the evening to drum up a family game at the new table in the well-lit and cozy new kitchen, but could get no takers.  Party poopers!

As it turned out, I am glad that New Year's Day fell on a Sunday this year.  We debated taking the day off from church, since it was a holiday and we let the kids (all except Benny) stay up past midnight on Saturday.  But, I decided, since we went to bed shortly after midnight and we'd still get a decent night's sleep, that I was going to start the new year in church, even if I went alone.  This would be where that not-sounding-super-spiritual disclaimer comes in... I didn't make the decision because I am Super-Christian, nor did I feel guilted into being there (like I sometimes have felt in the past).  No, I made the decision simply because I genuinely wanted to go... and that was a refreshing feeling!

Of course, I also made the decision that at least the three older kids were going to get up and go with me (without any complaining... if they wanted to stay up late on Saturday!), because I'm the Dad and I can "help" them make those decisions!  In the end, we all six got up and spent the first morning of the new year in church.

And, I'm really glad I did!  Pastor Steve delivered a fairly simple and straightforward sermon from Psalm 101, as a challenge for a new year.

Psalm 101 (NIV, 1984)
¹ I will sing of your love and justice;
to you, O LORD, I will sing praise.
² I will be careful to lead a blameless life—
when will you come to me?
I will walk in my house
with blameless heart.
³ I will set before my eyes
no vile thing.
The deeds of faithless men I hate;
they will not cling to me.
⁴ Men of perverse heart shall be far from me;
I will have nothing to do with evil.
⁵ Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret,
him will I put to silence;
whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart,
him will I not endure.
⁶ My eyes will be on the faithful in the land,
that they may dwell with me;
he whose walk is blameless
will minister to me.
⁷ No one who practices deceit
will dwell in my house;
no one who speaks falsely
will stand in my presence.
⁸ Every morning I will put to silence
all the wicked in the land;
I will cut off every evildoer
from the city of the LORD.

He hit my bulls-eye that morning.  I started the year with a sense of both encouragement and challenge.  He challenged me in a number of areas, but the idea of  "blameless" was the focus.  It wasn't a typical New Year's resolution-type message, but he used the scripture passage to present more of a life "tune-up" for the new year.

Three areas stood out to me:

1. Verse 2:  Will I walk in my house with a blameless heart?  He made a statement to the effect that (speaking generally to parents) it is your individual responsibility to lead your family in a spiritually healthy direction, even if your home is less than perfect, or even if your spouse does not.  Wow, my life and my home is far from perfect... far from "blameless", but I need to make a greater effort to help my family see the importance of spiritual foundations, even in the midst especially in the midst of a period of "storm damage". 
2. Verse 3:  What influences (positive or negative) am I allowing into my life and my home?  He challenged me to be a guardian of what I allow into my life and my home, largely through various forms of media... TV, movies, video games, internet, music, books, etc.  A big challenge and big responsibility!  As my kids get older, it is getting much more difficult to stay on top of what they are taking in.  I also need to be aware of the message that what they see and hear me "ingesting" sends to them.  This is not an area to practice legalism (which I think often happens) , but healthy balance and caution.
3. Verses 4-7:  What people will I let influence me and my family?  As an introvert, I am a man of few close friends, but I feel that I have done a pretty good job of picking my friends over the years.  I recently wrote about this in the post "kindergarten to cosmic".  Still, it's a good reminder that the best way to help my family learn to choose friendships with those who will be a positive influence in their life is for them to see me choosing "solid" friends... friends that could hang with me and my family, without worrying that they may have a negative influence!

Yeah, I've been running a little rough... I could sure use some spiritual "tuning up".  How about you?

Christmas events

This Christmas is one that I, personally, am a little glad that it's behind us.  Jen and I both had a difficult time getting into the spirit of the season this year.  Just how much difficulty, you ask?  Well, as I write this, it is the 28th of December and our Christmas tree is still without ornaments.  Yep, we put up the tree mid-month, got as far as the lights... and ran out of deck-the-halls energy!  We squeaked through Christmas on a bare minimum level of activity this year, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing... maybe even refreshing!  Of course, it didn't help that 5 out of 6 of us were some sort of sick through the bulk of the holiday.  I'm hoping we have more holiday energy next year, but here are a few of the few photos we bothered to take:

Lily, looking pretty for her kindergarten Christmas program.

She enjoyed singing.

Dylan and Zachary (shepherd #1 and shepherd #2) in the church Christmas play.  Costumes were pretty low-key, but when we were debating what Zachary should wear, I suggested his sandals.  He was upset that they were trimmed in bright green with the brand "Nerf" prominent in bright green.  He said Biblical shepherds would not wear Nerf sandals.  We said, maybe he was an affluent shepherd named Nerf, with monogrammed sandals.  He chose not to wear the sandals, but we still called him, "Nerf, the keeper of the sheep"!

Dylan's second role (King Herod).

post-play cast picture

Lily wanted a "radio-controlled dog".  Meet Go-Go, the Fur Real Friends mechanical dog.  She walks, she wags, she barks... and nobody has to clean up the yard!

Story here:  The boys have had a very outdated Sony PlayStation video game for several years.  They wanted a Nintendo Gamecube this year, which is still outdated, but less outdated than what they had.  Our family is not sure we are Wii impressed, so the Gamecube is, in my opinion, still a great system for cheap.  They relentlessly bugged me for a few months prior to Christmas.  I wrapped just the power cord/transformer and kept it separate from the rest of the gifts.  Their hope was getting deflated as they got to their last gifts, and no Gamecube.  I was proud of them, though.  They were mature about it, and I felt just a little bad.  After everything was opened, I let them sit a few minutes.  Then, in the spirit of Ralphie Parker's Dad (from the movie, A Christmas Story), I produced one last gift for them (but too small to be a Nintendo Gamecube).  Slightly confused, they opened it.  Even more confused, they studied it for a moment.  In this photo, Zachary is just discovering the small words on the transformer body, "Nintendo Gamecube", and the realization is dawning on Dylan.  Much excitement erupted seconds after this photo!  Boys... you've been PONED!

As I was uploading photos, I realized that poor Benny wasn't represented in this year's Christmas photos.  Sorry, Benny!  You'd have to know Benny, but he takes so much parental energy that there isn't always any photographic energy left over.  He was really not into Christmas.  Not the gifts, not the unwrapping, not much of anything.  It doesn't help that he has had a nasty cold and hasn't been eating or sleeping well through the holiday.  I'll have to get a few pictures with his new toys, but for now, these are, unfortunately for him, about the only Benny Christmas pictures this year:

Benny is lately into trying on other people's shoes.  Here he is checking his look in sister's ruby Christmas shoes!

Secure in his manhood and happy with his look!  Love ya, Benny Jay!

Royal Ambassadors

Our church has some kids programs that are new to our boys.  Royal Ambassadors meets on Sunday evenings for boys in grades 1-6.  Dylan and Zachary have been attending RA's for a few months, enjoying it, and making some new friends.

A few weeks ago, they had an award presentation during the Sunday morning service for RA's and GA's (Girls in Action, the sister group for girls in grades 1-6).  Mr. Rick, the RA leader, made it a special time for the boys.  After he passed out the previous year's awards, he had a commissioning service for the coming year for the boys.  He had them all come to the front of the church, and they lit candles to represent each point in the Royal Ambassador pledge, which they recited.  It is as follows:

As a Royal Ambassador I will do my best:

• To be a well-informed, responsible follower of Christ;
• To have a Christ-like concern for all people;
• To learn how to carry the message of Christ around the world;
• To work with others in sharing Christ; and
• To keep myself clean and healthy in mind and body.



Dylan

After this, he had the parents of the boys stand up, and he gave a challenge to the boys and their parents.  Although my boys have not been in the group long enough to earn awards, Dylan worked hard to meet the requirements to earn his RA vest, which Mr. Rick presented to him as part of the ceremony.  Zachary almost met the requirements, and I think he thought he could slide through and get his vest, anyway.  I was glad that Mr. Rick stuck to the standards and didn't let Zachary slide through.  He did give him a second chance to get his vest at the next RA meeting, and Zachary took it more serious and earned the vest, but too late for the ceremony.



Zachary

Being new to this church and being the protective parent that I am, it worries me a little to drop my kids off for an hour program, not knowing the teachers very well.  I know it's church, but there have been plenty of scandals in churches in recent times.  What time I have spent talking with Mr. Rick, though, he seems to genuinely care about the boys.  It seems like he's not just leading the group because "somebody needs to do it."  This was evidenced by the fact that he took the extra effort to make the ceremony a special event.  Also, during the ceremony, one of the boys graduated from the program and Mr. Rick presented him with a special RA Bible and pocket knife.  He got emotional and teared up when he made this presentation.  I'm glad to have other men in my boys lives that take a genuine interest in them and strive to be positive role models for them, and I'm excited to have my kids grounded in some programs where they can have fun, learn, and make some new friends. 

The kids are glad, too.  Dylan told me recently that if we visited any more new churches he wasn't going to go.  At this age, he doesn't really have a choice, but I know what he means, and I take the warning signs seriously!  Kids need stability, and leaving their old church and friends behind and bouncing around for the past year-plus has been tough on all of us!

church search

As I've mentioned before, we have been without a church home for over a year. It has been a long and difficult search, but I think we have finally landed. This is not to say that we have found the "perfect" church... we would, after all, mess it up by attending, if this were the case. Rather, we have found a church that is both similar, and considerably different than those of our past; and a church where truth is taught and relationships can be built. 

I grew up in a certain type of church, independent of a "mainline", organized, governed denomination. I'm used to some things a certain way, and I'm used to being taught that some things should be (or not be) a certain way.  I'm not convinced that some of these "sacred" religious traditions are... well, sacred.  They've always seemed comfortable (possibly just out of habit), but sacred... probably not so much.  Let me make it clear that my doctrine has not changed... there are certain things on which I, Biblically, cannot budge.  And, there are still some traditions on which I, with little (or likely no) Biblical stance, still may choose not to budge.  But, there are a lot of things that I just have to ask, "does it really have to be that way"?  I have been asking questions, such as this, a few years now, and the questions will likely continue to be asked, pondered and researched, but not necessarily answered with certainty.  I think, though, at this stage of my life, that this is healthy questioning.  They are not the doubt-my-faith-and-sow-my-wild-oats kind of questioning of a younger man, but more like pondering just where grace and legalism collide in Christianity, and how grace looks in my life, my individual personality, my family, and the church I chose to attend.

Every time I have needed to switch churches (always because I moved), I have searched for, found, and attended one fairly similar to the church of my childhood. Since I met my wife in one such church, it has never been very difficult for us to find, agree on, and settle into a new church... until now.  For the first time, we chose to leave our church for reasons unassociated with moving. Although I don't feel the need to specifically discuss those reasons, they dovetail, or possibly prompt, some of the questioning.

So, for the first time, we started visiting churches with different names on the door than what we were used too... you know, the labels that man puts on God's churches.  It was refreshing to find that we can worship in a church that differs some from "what we've always done".  In just over a year, we visited about a half dozen churches, some a few times, some many times; ranging from one mile to eighteen miles from our home.  In the end, we chose one based on a very simple criteria... convenience.  We chose the church that is one mile from our house. 

During our search, I had a conversation with another Dad (who lives in our town and attends the same church we now attend) who had just been through a similar "church search".  He said something that stuck with me: 

"There are over a dozen churches in our small town.  Surely I can find one among them where my family can worship without driving to someone else's town." 

I think he has something there.  I'm not completely opposed to driving a reasonable distance to attend a good church, and I'm not saying I wouldn't do it at some point in the future if the need arises to switch churches (which I would not be eager to do anytime soon).  Although the one eighteen miles from our home seemed to have a lot to offer everyone in the family, I think there is something to be said for going to a church in your own small town, where your kids go to school with most of the kids they are building friendships with at church.

This time, I looked for a church home with a broader vision than I had in times past, and I think I learned a few valuable lessons because of it.  I'll still need to stretch a little, keep an open mind, and rethink a few non-sacred items... but that's not all bad!  I'm pretty sure the "perfect church" does not exist this side of heaven, but, nonetheless, I think we're in a supportive community of Christ-followers, where God is worshipped, truth is taught and relationships can be built.  Regardless of the name on the door or the denominational structure, isn't that really what church should be about?

vacationing at the airport

I have been thinking a lot, lately, about church. Not just recently, but for a few years, now. Not my church, specifically, but more so the concept of church. What it is intended to be. What it should look like. How it should function. How much of what a church does is based on Christ's intent when He established it, and how much of it is based on what man's traditions have made of it?

It's a big subject to ponder. Bigger than this blog post.

But, here's the thing. My family doesn't currently have a church. We made the very difficult decision to leave the church we have attended since moving here, and we are "on tour", searching for a place to call home. My "church tour" has led me out of the box a bit. I have always attended a certain kind of church, that does things a certain way. While I'm not compromising any of the doctrines on which I stand, re-thinking church has caused me to explore churches that I would likely have been closed-minded to just a few years ago. They are mostly similar, but different than what I am used to. A few years ago, they would have had to be just plain similar.

Getting to my point, I visited another such church for the first time this morning. It was a few blocks from my home. Zachary wasn't feeling well, so Jen stayed home and I went with just Dylan and Lily. We slipped in the back a few minutes before the worship service began. I'm not sure the church itself is quite what we're looking for, but the pastor's message stuck with me.

He spoke about what the church should be. My ears perked up. It wasn't necessarily anything extremely profound, but a great reminder and in line with my recent church musings. He asked the question, "Is our church designed to fit our needs (those who worship within the walls), or to bring those outside the walls to know Christ?" He shared two examples to illustrate his point.

First, he compared the church to a Haitian mission project that he had been a part of. The project was to bring water to a particular Haitian village. The project raised funds to drill a well to bring fresh drinking water to the people of the village. The well was drilled. The people came to the well. The mission then put a wall and locked gates, a compound of sorts, around the well to protect it. The people for which the well was drilled were then isolated from the water. So, the mission put a pipe to the outside of the wall and they would turn on the faucet at certain times of the day to allow the villagers to get the water they desperately needed. The pastor made the parallel to the modern church. We build our nice, comfortable buildings and we worship in them, almost as though it were an elite club designed for its members. We then turn on the faucet every so often to distribute the Living Water to those outside our "compound".

Secondly, he likened church to an airport. We say we go to the airport, but nobody really goes to an airport... we go through it. The airport is not our destination. He asked how many had ever gone to the airport for vacation. Not through it to get to vacation, but actually vacationed at the airport. Ridiculous, right? The point he was making is that "church" is not a destination. The people of God are the church. Instead of going "to church" often, perhaps we should pass "through church" often on our way to becoming and living as the church.

I'm a visual kind of person. I liked his illustrations and I was challenged by them. So how about you? Are you vacationing at the airport, or passing through the airport? (Or, has it been a while since you've even visited an airport?)

My three stars

Tonight was the children's Christmas play at our church. It was titled, Heli, the Star of Bethlehem. Since I have some drama experience, I was one of the adults that helped put the play together. When we started working on it in the fall, it honestly appeared a little hopeless. But, the kids really worked hard, and we pulled it together.

Dylan was asked to take a speaking part this year, and at first he said he didn't want to, because he was too shy. I pushed him to take it, telling him that it is good to stretch ourselves sometimes, and do things that are hard. Once he started memorizing and rehearsing, he got excited about it. In fact, he wasn't feeling well this morning, but he was determined to be there tonight for his part. He did a great job, and I was proud of him.

Zachary sang in the kids choir. When Dylan stayed home from church this morning, Zachary also agreed, last minute, to be his understudy. He rehearsed in Dylan's place during the Sunday School hour, and spent a large part of the afternoon cramming to memorize Dylan's lines, in case he had to pinch hit for his brother. In the end, he didn't complain at all when Dylan performed, and his effort was for naught. I was really proud of Zachary for his attitude, and he seems to have a dramatic flair. Maybe next year. . .

Lily also sang Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star with the group of younger kids. She didn't quite get all the words, but she was right up front, singing, swaying, and giving it her all. It was one of those evenings that make a parent want to say, "those are my kids"!

My three thespians

Lily (left, front) singing, "ting-ko, ting-ko, la la star"

Zachary (left, front), and Dylan (2nd from left, back)

Dylan, as "Polaris, the North Star"

lady bug helmets

Lily is now much more comfortable in her classes at church. She has transitioned from "B-I-E... nooo" to "B-I-E yaaay"! She has some great teachers, so this helps. Thanks to Miss Linda, Miss Beth, Miss Denise, and Miss Jody for continuing to be understanding and patiently working as team members with our family. Today, in Miss Jody's class, Lily made this lady bug helmet. I thought she was too cute to pass up a photo opportunity!

"B-I-E...nooo"

A few children's Sunday School songs have recently become meaningful in our home. For Lily, "The B-I-B-L-E" has become significant. She doesn't know most of the words, but she attempts the spelling part-- it usually comes out, "B-I-E". Her favorite part of the song, though, is shouting "BIBLE!" at the end, although her timing is sometimes a little off. She doesn't know most of the other songs, so she sometimes throws a "BIBLE!" in the middle of "Jesus Loves Me", or "Jesus Loves the Little Children", just for good measure. Because her English is still very limited, "B-I-E" has come to represent "church" for her. For the first weeks, Jen or I sat with her in her classes, but we are now leaving her. Although she does fine, she is apprehensive about going to church and expresses this with the phrase, "B-I-E...noooo".

Recently, as I was with Lily in her class, I was struck by the appropriateness of "Jesus Loves the Little Children". For those who may be rusty on the lyrics to children's songs: "Jesus loves the little children; all the children of the world; red, yellow, black, and white; they are precious in his sight..." On this particular Sunday, there were only 2 children in the class: an American girl with blond hair, and a Chinese-American girl with raven hair. These 2 little girls sat side-by-side, but were very different in appearance and geography. Yet, they were a living representation of the message of this simple song--through the eyes of Jesus, there is no difference.