I've been tagged

There's a game of blogger tag going around, and I've been tagged by Sharla, at "Life as a Clay Jar". If you haven't visited her blog, I recommend a visit. I recently started reading her posts, and I think she keeps a great blog.

So, the deal is seven random or weird facts about me. Here they are:

1. As a kid, I always wanted to be a truck driver when I grew up. I'm currently an unemployed architectural draftsman, without many prospects, due to the housing market decline. We live near a truck driving school, and Jen and I have kicked around the idea of me enrolling in the five week course to get my CDL, as there seems to always be jobs of some kind for those with a CDL. It's not an ideal job for a family man (and I'm sure it's not as glamorous as it was portrayed on Movin' On, B.J. and the Bear, or Smokey and the Bandit) but it might be a possible short-term fix and fall-back plan later.
2. I dream of thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail. I am sure this is not as glamorous as the idea seems, either. The longest time I have spent on a backpack trip is 5 days, which is very different from 6 months, more or less. I have thought it would be neat to hike it someday with Dylan and Zachary, who are two years apart in age, as a rite of passage to adulthood. I have a neighbor who is in his sixties and has never backpacked, but has a fascination with the AT. Both he and I have read every biography of thru-hikers we can find in our library's system. This dream will likely never be realized, because the likelihood of having a job that would allow me 6 months off, even if I could afford to take 6 months off, is unlikely.
3. I have never seen any of the Star Wars movies. I was 8 or 9 when the first one came out. Nearly everyone in my age bracket has seen them. My friend, John, a huge Star Wars fan, refers to me as "the last Star Wars virgin".
4. I have never owned a new vehicle and I have never had an auto loan (excluding the $1500 I borrowed from Mom and Dad to buy my very first car... a 1981 VW Rabbit diesel). Instead of paying several years after I buy a vehicle, I save several years in anticipation of needing a vehicle. My target is then a 1 or 2 year old vehicle.
5. Related to #4, I am a volunteer budget counselor through my church, trained by Crown Financial Ministries. I teach principles of Biblical stewardship and help families set attainable financial goals, set up responsible household budgets, and create debt payback schedules, etc.
6. Even though I have always been on the shy side, I love drama. I often get involved with the nightly skits at Vacation Bible Fun or Christmas plays at church. I would love to land a role in a community theater someday, but I don't think we have one in our town.
7. I often wished that I had more siblings. I have one brother, but I often wondered what it would have been like to live in a larger family. Still, when it came to my own family, I thought two kids was a good number. I have four. Guess I get to experience a bigger family, after all.

Tagging seven more people may be difficult. Many of the bloggers I read have already been tagged, but I'll see what I can do. How about:

1. Kelly
2. Jill at "Making Room for Mallory"
3. Tracy at "Five Kids for us to Love"
4. Michael at "Doubling Up"
5. Chris Fabry at "The Flog"
6. Tara at "Red Thread Journey"
7. Tim at "Grab a Corner"

pirates, cowboys, & ladybugs

Southern China meets snow!

Winter came a little early to our neck of the woods. As far as we know, Lily, being from southern China, has never seen snow. She didn't have much of a reaction to it. She has experienced so many new and different things in the last four months (wow! has it really been four months already?), it's just another part of this new adventure with these new people who talk funny! The boys are always excited to show her new things, like they are "old pros".

This past weekend was our second hayride of the year. This one was at the farm of one of our church family and was an outing for the kids of Pioneer Clubs. Ben didn't make it on the other hayride, but this was his first.

Ben hanging out

Here's one I like... Dylan holding baby brother AND reading a book. How cool is that?

And, finally, Lily modeling more clothes before church. She loves dressing up in pretty clothes.

Stop! Drop! Roll!

The past several Tuesday evenings, I have been taking Lily and Zachary to a Story Time group for their ages at our public library. A few weeks ago, they had a special program about firemen and fire safety. Captain S******, the guest fireman, did an excellent job with the children, but even the parents learned a thing, or two. One of the great parts of the program was when he dressed in full gear, including mask and air tank, drug a hose behind him, and crawled across the floor toward the children. As he did this, breathing from his tank and talking through his mask (sounding a bit like Darth Vader), he stressed to the children, that if they were ever trapped in a burning house, this is what a fireman looks and sounds like, and for them not to be afraid and not to hide. I had been with the kids to a few other fire safety programs, but I have never seen a fireman communicate like this with the kids. I could see how it could be frightening to a child, so the fact that he showed them that it is nothing to fear could possibly save a life someday. Kudos, Captain S******! Here are a few things I learned from the evening:

• Every home should have an escape plan and a meeting place! (Actually, I already knew this. In fact, we had to type it all up for our adoption home study. But, we really need to drill it more so everyone knows it. Thanks for the reminder!)
• It is a good idea for everyone to have a flashlight beside their bed. It can help navigate through smoke and darkness, but also, it can be used to direct firefighters to your location if you are trapped inside.
• CO2 detectors have a lifespan. They have a sensor inside that wears out eventually. They should have a date after which you should replace them. (I usually think these dates on products are gimmicks to sell more products, but this one makes sense to me)

You could tell from the evening that Captain S****** enjoyed the children and loves his job. Thank you to our public servants who protect us, and to those like Captain S****** who give a little extra of themselves! Here are pictures that Miss Chrissy, our children's librarian, took of Zachary and Lily.

I am a statistic

When you hear in the news that unemployment claims are up, think of me. I have feared this day was coming, but hoped it wouldn't. My position as an architectural draftsman (residential) has been looking bleak for a while, as the economy spirals downward, taking with it the housing market. With loans harder to obtain, and new home starts way down, house plan sales are very depressed. Unfortunately, this means that I am no longer needed. I don't blame my employer. On the contrary, he has done all he possibly could to delay the inevitable, even to the point of deferring to me work that he would normally have done, just in an effort to try to keep me on long enough to ride out the storm. I have a few more days worth of work on my desk to wrap up, which will last me through most of next week. Next Friday, I will likely be packing my desk and Monday will likely find me in the unemployment line.

I must admit that this is a fearful time for me. As sole provider for my family (my recently larger family), this is a heavy weight upon my shoulders. The difficult part is that it's not just my job that 's gone. My field has temporarily evaporated. It will most likely return. Building will eventually pick up, but not in time for my family. Quite honestly, I'm not exactly sure what I will do. I hold a Master's Degree in Audiology, but after practicing just over 5 years, I was miserably unhappy. I left the field of Audiology 7 years ago, when a friend made me an offer to join him in his Architectural business, by training with him as a draftsman. During the 7 years I was with him, Jen and I made the decision to let my Audiology license lapse, with the intent that I would never go back to it (a decision that, even as I sit on the brink of unemployment, I still don't think I regret). This decision means that I cannot return to the field of Audiology. So, what does a middle-aged guy, with a useless Master's Degree and seven years experience in an unrelated and "dying" field, do when he grows up? That's what I am trying to figure out. The chances of finding something in my field are slim. I am not sure if I will try to find SOMETHING... ANYTHING that will pay the bills, or if I will look toward training for another field. I need to get a plan together pretty quickly.

I am sure there are lessons in this that I am to learn. I am hoping this will soon be better, and I can look back and testify how God carried us through. However, it seems easier for me to give Him credit on the backside of the storm, than it is to have faith going into the storm. Fortunately, our family tries to live by the principle of "margin". I have long been a student of Biblical financial stewardship and the teachings of the late Larry Burkett. I minister through my church as a volunteer budget counselor, trained by Crown Financial Ministries. I have taught other families the principles of budgeting, living within or below your means, living with little or no debt, and having emergency savings. I have lived by and proven these principles. They are about to be tested again. However, I don't think I have ever really proven the God of these principles. Even though they are Biblical principles, I often wrestle with whether I am trusting in Jeff and his ability to plan, budget, and save, or truly relying on God. I fear most of the time I am relying on me. Intellectually, I know that God is in control and that He is big enough to take care of my family. I also know that this didn't take Him by surprise. Even while we felt that He was leading us toward adoption, He knew this would happen, He knew how I would respond, and He knew the outcome. And yet, I want to "fix" it, as if I am in control. I know, though, that I need to rely on God, and it is a lesson that I don't want to have to learn the hard way. I am hoping that I didn't just enroll in "Hard Way 101".

I know that many people reading this blog are praying Christians, and I ask you to pray for wisdom and guidance for Jen and I, as we try to determine God's direction in this, and as we shift gears and try to put together a strategy. Pray that God will lead me in the proper direction to a job, training, career change, etc. Even though I enjoy my work, I have often found myself thinking that there surely must be something I could do with my life that would serve a greater purpose than drawing houses. Ultimately, I think I would enjoy either writing, or doing something that benefits or promotes orphans and adoption. I know nothing is impossible with God, but given my education and experience, this doesn't seem at all feasible-- at least not for putting food on the table in the near future.

Because this post is very personal, my pride and ego would rather I not post it. But, because I covet your prayers, I will post. My Captain has just turned on the "fasten seat belts" sign, there is turbulence ahead...

I'd rather be...

...backpacking. I wouldn't call ourselves avid backpackers, but since my college days, I've tried to get out on the trail for a weekend or two each year. The past three Octobers, Jen and I have taken a weekend trip with our friends, Al and Beth. Due to a newly adopted daughter and a new baby, not to mention Beth breaking her arm when an SUV ran a red light a few weeks ago, neither couple were able to get out this year. Al and I talked about taking our sons on an introductory trip, but never got around to it. With the chill of autumn in the air; the trees ablaze in yellows, oranges, and reds; and the crunch of dried leaves on the ground; I have found myself missing my boots and pack, and longing for a great trail, a cool morning in a mummy bag, an Adirondack shelter, beef jerky, and trail mix! Here are a few shots from last year. Maybe next year...

autumn!

"Love Them Like Jesus"

This past Sunday, a soloist sang "Love Them Like Jesus", by Casting Crowns, in our worship service. Very early in the process to adopt Lily, I heard this song, and the lyrics had a big impact on me.

The verses are not about adoption, but all I really hear is the chorus, which to me, screams, "ADOPTION"! In fact, for me, this song speaks more about adoption than many songs specifically written about the topic. (I even sent an email to Mark Hall, of Casting Crowns, suggesting an "adoption version", but I doubt that really went anywhere!) Here are the lyrics. The ones in red are what I hear:

"The love of her life is drifting away
They’re losing the fight for another day
The life that she’s known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child’s broken heart

You’re holding her hand, you’re straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all
She’s desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She’s looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to grey
As the little one slips away

You’re holding their hand, you’re straining for words
You’re trying to make sense of it all
They’re desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They’re looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

The Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus"
(C) 2005 Club Zoo Music

When I hear the first block of chorus, I see my daughter's face. I see her in an orphanage, waiting for a family. I see her and I on family day, as I tried to comfort her and ease her fears and confusion. I see her as a young lady, with questions about her past that have no easy answers. But, I don't have to have all the answers or be the perfect parent. I just need to "...stay by her side". I just need to "...love her like Jesus".

When I hear the second block of chorus, I see the faces of the millions of yet unadopted orphans. Can you see them? "They're desperate for hope... they're looking to you". No, you may not have all the answers. You may not be the perfect parent. You may be afraid to step out and risk loving an orphan. But, all you need to do is "...stay by their side". Just "...love them like Jesus".

Can you?

Will you?

a few pix

A few weeks ago, the boys both had a field trip to the zoo. I took the day off and we made it a family outing. I got this picture of a trio of penguins... the two on the ends look ornery, to me!

Poor Ben seems to get slighted a little with the camera. We're taking pictures, but not as many a we did of Dylan and Zachary as babies. Jen seems like she often manages to hide from the camera, but I liked this one of the two of them.

Lily, looking cute for church.

Sunday was another beautiful fall day in Ohio. I took Dylan and Zachary hiking in the afternoon for some guys time out.

Legacy of a name

I enjoy listening to the Chris Fabry Live radio show at work. It is an hour-long talk radio program on our local Christian radio station. He covers a wide range of interesting topics, from politics and the economy, to cicadas and his wife's hair color. This past week he had a fun program on names and their meaning and/or significance. I can't call in while on the job, but I thought this subject would make an interesting post. My firstborn son's middle name is "Irwin", and here is the story behind that name:

During the early years of my parent's marriage, they lived in a quaint trailer park with a very close knit community of neighbors. They were particularly close to a couple named Irwin, who were actually old enough to be their parents. This friendship also extended to the Irwin's married daughter and family (with whom they still maintain a friendship), as well as Mr. Irwin's father, whom they affectionately referred to as "Grandpa Irwin". Grandpa Irwin, as he has been described to me, was a widower, an outdoors man, and a spiritual man. His faithful companion in his latter years was his dog, Minnie. (Well, actually, her full name was "Minnehaha Minnesota Mulligan")! Spiritually, Grandpa Irwin was not fond of churches and organized religion, but his practice was to worship and pray to his "creator" (his name of choice for Deity) in the outdoors, where he felt most at home.

My parents very much wanted children, but when I, their firstborn, arrived; I did so with a heart defect, a serious hemangioma, and a dismal prognosis. I was immediately transferred to a children's hospital and the doctors thought I might live six weeks. My parents were heartbroken.

Grandpa Irwin, hearing the news of my birth, but not being aware of my condition, bounded into my mom's hospital room with a gift tucked under his arm. He left saddened and sorrowful. What happened next, he never told my parents, but he confided it to his son, who later shared it with my parents, who eventually shared it with me.

Grandpa Irwin left the hospital that day, and went to the woods with a heavy heart. He went there to intercede in prayer for my condition and for my heartbroken parents. During that prayer, he thanked his creator for the good and full life he had been given, and he asked his creator to spare my life and take his instead. Now, I don't know the theology of such a request, and I am not sure if God honors requests such as these. What I do know is this: I spent the first nine weeks of my life in the hospital, where to the amazement of my doctors, I survived and fully recovered. A few months after I came home, Grandpa Irwin went into the hospital for what was thought to be a routine surgery, and to the amazement of his doctors, he never recovered.

Obviously, I don't remember Grandpa Irwin, but I wish I could have known him. Since childhood, this story has had a profound impact on me. I decided many years ago, that if I ever had a son, his middle name would be "Irwin" to honor the man who was willing to pray this sacrificial prayer on my behalf.

I suspect that few others have a story like this. And yet, I would be remiss not to point out that you do have a similar story. As one who believes the Bible to be true, I believe that you and I were both born with a dismal prognosis, due to our birth defect of a sin nature. However, Jesus Christ came to earth to live sinless as a man, and died in my place (and yours) that my sins (and yours) can be forgiven. Thank you to my Savior, Jesus Christ; and my friend, Grandpa Irwin, for being willing to sacrifice that I might have life.

Incidentally, although not as dramatic as this story, we continued the theme of our children's middle names having some significance. My second son shares my middle name; my third son has my first name as his middle; and my daughter has her original Chinese name as her middle.

Fall fun

The weather was gorgeous today, and it was our annual family wiener roast and hayride. I'm not sure how many years this event has been happening, but it's been a long time. It is a very unique extended family event, because every individual family is related to somebody, but nobody is related to everybody. We've all been friends for a long time, and everyone feels like family. It started years ago, at (if you can follow this) my mom's brother's wife's (my aunt Jean's) parent's farm. Aunt Jean's parents are both deceased now, but a Grandson, Tim, and his wife have continued the tradition. Tim still uses his Grandpa's original Ford tractor to pull the wagon. Thanks Tim and Dee Dee for hosting this event, and including us "adopted" family members.

My brother, sister-in-law, niece, and nephew

Lily wanted to sit on the big tractor

Tim gets these large cable spools at work and they create a dramatic fire!

scooters on fresh asphalt

A church a few blocks from our house had their parking lot repaved this week. This evening, I took the kids and their scooters to test out the new pavement. It's fun to see them get excited about something as simple as fresh asphalt.

Olympic hopefuls... synchronized scooting?

Lily couldn't quite keep up, but that didn't stop her from trying.

Of course, I had to get my turn, too.

Great movie!

I still have not been able to see "Fireproof". I'll likely have to wait to see it on DVD. Did anybody see it? How was it? This weekend, a friend loaned me "Facing the Giants", the second movie produced by Sherwood Pictures ("Fireproof" was the third). Jen and I watched it for the first time Saturday evening, after the kids went to bed-- the closest thing possible to a date with three kiddos and a newborn! We loved it! We laughed... we cried... we watched it again this evening with the kids. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Hats off to Sherwood Pictures. ("Flywheel", their first production was pretty good, as well). I still can't wait to see "Fireproof", and I'm anxious to see what they come up with next.

"Xiao Xiao cold"

We are having a few unseasonably chilly days in Ohio. Lily, being from Southern China, is used to a climate that more closely resembles Miami, Florida. Since about September, she has frequently informed us, "Xiao Xiao cold". We keep telling her, "you haven't seen cold, yet". Today the temperature dropped enough that I had to start the furnace (something I am always reluctant to do because of rising natural gas prices!). You should have seen her eyes light up when she discovered these magical holes in the floor emanating heat! She was excitedly telling us how she was cold, but how good it feels to sit on the registers. Of course, she didn't use those exact words, but that was the gist of it. It was as if, just because it was new to her, that she discovered something that no one in the house knew about, either. Those rare times when Lily, as an adopted toddler, discovers something completely new to her, are priceless.